


the great affair is to move

by peachjuho



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, World Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12750201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachjuho/pseuds/peachjuho
Summary: juho only knows how to travel, to always be on the move. he doesn't quite know how to stay, but rowoon wishes he would.





	the great affair is to move

**Author's Note:**

> > "I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move."  
> – Robert Louis Stevenson

The first thing most people get to know about Juho is that he’s a traveller. (And then naturally, it’s implied that he has enough money to spend it on jetsetting around the globe for more than a few years.)

The second, is that it’s hard to keep him tied to one place. He’s too filled with wanderlust and desire to see the world.

And that is what he does. He wanders across the world, losing himself in the narrow, winding streets of Venice and the bustling roads of New York. He picks up pieces of himself along the River Thames, and sees fragments of his reflection in Yangtze River.

Sometimes he stays a few days, sometimes he stays a few weeks. Either way, it is never long enough to explore the full beauty of cities, or to discover all their hidden nooks and crannies. But it is also never longer than necessary. He is always moving ahead, always with a new destination in mind. Always discovering new things, and always alone.

  


[Barely a week ago, Juho is in Finland. There, he floats on his back in a lake, staring up at the sky. The water is clear, and warms Juho’s skin. The shore fringed by trees he can’t quite identify, but it doesn’t matter right now.

The sky turns a dusty pink, easing into gold. He blinks slowly. The water glows a startling shade of pink, a muted coral that reflects the painting above. In the serene peace, it’s a picturesque moment. he thinks quietly to himself, _This is nice_.

There’s also another moment of wishing he had someone beside him.]

  


Juho is currently holed up in a hotel room in Malaysia, escaping the humidity and appreciating the cool air on his skin. He stares at his laptop screen, as Youngbin looks at him from an hour ahead with a critical eye.

Juho’s internet has been laggy so far, so he’s surprised when the voice comes out clear instead of a warped gurgle. The pixelated image asks, “What are you even trying to accomplish?”

Juho shrugs his shoulders. He easily dismisses Youngbin’s comment because the other is nearly a whole seven hours away by plane. That, and there’s rely nothing in particular he’s trying to accomplish. He’s not coming to the end of his hourglass, and there’s no deadline to rush to complete any goals or a bucket list.

Youngbin drops the topic and they talk about other things instead. Chani pops up on the screen and Juho coos at his godson’s surprise appearance.

(“He’s growing up so well.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“He takes after you, but he’s going to grow up to be more handsome.”

“Okay, you know what? I’m calling off our friendship.”

“Was that supposed to be a pun?”)

They end the call there, but Youngbin’s sudden question is something that rolls around his mind for a few days. What _is_ he trying to do?

Find himself? No, that’s not it. From the beginning, he’s always had more confidence in himself to know his identity than to have to chase the world for it. To find a place to stay? No, that’s not it either. Juho’s not sure he wants to find himself rooted down to a place, he isn’t looking for a home. For experiences? A more likely answer. He’s fascinated by cultures, the foods they eat and the way the people live. Maybe that’s the reason. Or he just travels for the sake of it, so he's not tied down to one place. The idea of being stuck terrifies him. (He figures he’s always known that though.)

  


Still, at the end of all his travels, he finds there’s no other place quite like the lively metropolis of Seoul. His hometown, though he’s never always felt like he’s particularly belonged to it. The streets he grew up with feel more like the paths strangers take to politely meet old acquaintances rather than roads he trusts to lead him home.

But in one small corner of the urban centre - a small apartment, really - lies hidden a place that feels like a fortress of safety, in the arms of a man who smells like home.

Rowoon.

  


Being with Rowoon is easy.

When Juho returns, Rowoon wraps his arms around him and they talk about everything they have missed in the other’s life.

As always, Juho talks about his recent travels. This time, about cheeky monkeys on telephone wires, his (quite literally) painful encounter with its king of fruits, the durian, and all the good food he had in Malaysia.

“Nothing like your cooking though,” he mumbles.

Rowoon smiles at that comment, and launches into his own stories of Chani causing mischief, that Youngbin would never tell him because it’s at the expense of his own dignity. Juho listens with rapt attention to how –

“You remember Hwiyoung, right? Looks really mature, about your height, dyed hair...” Rowoon trails off and Juho nods. The other carries on with his narrative again. “So we’re on set, and he’s with me when one of the extras comes up to me and asks for my number.”

Juho frowns and tenses slightly, clearly unhappy. Rowoon’s thumbs rubs circles into his hand until he relaxes again.

“I say no, of course. But the other guy says, ‘You must be single, stop playing hard to get.’ And–” Rowoon pauses for a moment and grins in quiet content when Juho squeezes him more tightly. “And you know how much of a shy baby Hwi normally is, right? Out of nowhere, he says, ‘He already said no, piss off.’ Then the guy asks me if he’s my boyfriend and says he can show me a better time, and then Hwi actually punches him in the face.”

Juho’s mouth drops, and he shamelessly cheers for Hwiyoung. He makes a mental note to treat the younger one to a good lunch some day soon. Rowoon smacks him lightly on the arm, but he’s chuckling too.

“I was surprised when Hwiyoung didn’t get into trouble, but I think it’s because the guy was too scared.”

Juho doesn’t quite hear the rest of what Rowoon says because he buries his face into the other’s neck and takes in deep breaths. He smells fresh, comforting, like Rowoon, like home. Juho wishes he could bottle it up, to take a piece of Rowoon with him on his travels.

  


A few days later, they part with bittersweet goodbyes and always a promise for Juho to return.

“Coffee?”

“My usual order, please.”

They sit opposite each other with their knees touching under their table. A waitress comes by and sets down the two drinks they’ve ordered, asking if they need anything else with a giggle. (Or more like, asking if Rowoon needs anything and straight up ignoring Juho. But it’s fine, he’s used to it.)

“No thank you,” Rowoon says politely, without sparing her too much of a glance.

The waitress giggles again, probably overcome by how pretty Rowoon is. Not like Juho would blame her.

Their coffees are taken without too much of a conversation, words that are barely there but spoken through glances and murmurs of, “Do you have everything?”

In front of the departure sign they stand, two men observing each other quietly. They’ve gone through this routine for months now, though they’ve known each other for years.

The voice overhead calls for passengers to go to their gates, and Rowoon looks knowingly at him.

Juho likes to think he’s usually the one who’s much better at handling goodbyes, but today he fights with himself to reluctantly let go of Rowoon’s shirt. He inhales deeply, takes in the smell of home and the way he fits together with Rowoon like two pieces of a puzzle. He commits all of this to memory, to take with him a piece of Rowoon along with him to the places he travels.

It’s funny, Juho wonders, because it wasn’t really that long ago, that he never would’ve imagined he’d ever want to settle. Now it seems like a possibility. Something tangible within reach, something he’d like to consider. Maybe.

Still, he’s never been one to look back so he turns forward and keeps moving ahead. That’s why he misses the look of longing on Rowoon’s face, as a plane carries Juho on its wings to Japan.

  


It’s been a few days since Juho came back from Japan.

He brings back with him tales of Nara and the deers that roam freely on islands. He brings back gifts to open and photos for Rowoon to flick through, while they’re leaning against each other on the couch.

“Juho.”

Juho hums in acknowledgement. Rowoon lets go of Juho and sits up, and Juho only finds it naturally to follow. He thinks that Rowoon always thinks too loudly. From the worry and vulnerability in the other’s eyes, he can already guess what’s going to come out of his mouth.

“... Stay?” Rowoon whispers.

Juho averts his eyes. He knows what Rowoon is asking. He’s not just asking him to stay a day, a week. Something more permanent. But still, he plays dumb. Avoiding, hoping, Rowoon will accept his answer. “Of course I will.”

Rowoon frowns. “No, I mean _stay_ with me.”

“I am,” Juho mumbles.

Rowoon looks down at the distance between their hands, and then looks back at him. “You know I know that you know what I mean.”

Both of them stifle a chuckle, before settling back into the tense air. Juho sighs, and meets Rowoon’s eyes.

Rowoon continues, “If you don’t want to, it’s fine, I can understand. But I’ll be honest and say if you can’t, we’ll have to let each other go.”

Juho doesn’t say anything at first. He sinks into the couch, the way he sunk into a grass field in Switzerland. It climbs up his throat, and chokes him - the thought of having to let go of the other. He clings onto Rowoon, taking his hand and interlacing their fingers.

He pleads like his life depends on it, but tries so hard to keep the desperation from seeping into your voice.

“Would you come with me? We could go together. Travel around the world. See places you’ve only dreamed of visiting.”

“I’d love to do that,” Rowoon exhales. Juho can already feel the ‘but’ that follows. “Though you know I can’t just give up life here. For how long will I be second to your wanderlust?”

Juho wonders if Rowoon is being selfish, for wanting him to sacrifice his travels. Isn’t a life here, in one place, too comfortable, boring? There’s still so much left of the world left to see, to explore, to even think about settling down. Is Rowoon limiting himself, or limiting Juho? No, if Juho says Rowoon is stopping Juho, then that’s only an excuse. He knows better than to blame others for the outcomes of his own decisions.

There’s a moment of pause, deliberation.

Juho finally says, “I need to think about this for a while.”

Rowoon nods. “I know.”

“Can you wait for me?” Juho asks, squeezing Rowoon’s hand tightly.

The other smiles sadly, almost self-deprecatingly. “That’s what I’ve always done.”

And he can’t exactly argue back. Juho doesn’t want to have to keep him on the edge and continue the question running in his mind - will he, or won’t he? - because he knows Rowoon all too well.

Rowoon thinks, over thinks, too much.

(But maybe it’s actually Juho.)

  


Juho wonders about just how much he would sacrifice for Rowoon.

He ponders of the city that never sleeps and the bright lights that twinkle across the River Thames. He mulls over the sunrises in Finland, the map of the Venetian maze, and the reflection he sees in the Yangtze River. He already knows the answer to the question staring back at him.

He might be able to fool the world but he can’t fool his heart.

He knows then.

Halfway through the movie they watch that night, cuddled into Rowoon’s side, he turns his head to face the taller male.

“I’ll stay.”

If Rowoon is surprised by his sudden confession, he doesn’t show it. He pulls Juho even closer to him and only asks, “Promise?”

“I promise.”

And that’s the end of it.

  


They continue to watch the movie, as if nothing had happened. It’s just another blip in their life. A big one maybe, but still just a temporary deviation from their path. They were always going to end up at the same destination, anyway.

When the credits start to roll, Juho stretches up like a cat and shamelessly sneaks a peek at the sliver of Rowoon’s tummy from where his shirt has ridden up. It’s a view he appreciates.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Juho quips, “Well I’d like to stay forever.”

Rowoon shakes his head, though his laughter rings loud and clear in the silence of the apartment. “I can’t believe you’re taking cues from an animated grandma.” He pauses and Juho observes him. “I don’t get why you book a hotel room when I’ve told you that you can just stay here.”

Juho wiggles his eyebrows. “Who knows what would happen?”

The other snorts and says, “What do you want to eat?”

“Anything,” Juho replies.

The sound of Juho’s footsteps on the cold apartment floor are soft as he follows Rowoon into the kitchen, into another chapter of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> just a small fic as an early birthday present to myself? very much inspired by a noren fic yi sent me, so i acknowledge there might be some similarities/parallels but this is largely my work.
> 
> i'm trying to finish a longer fic (estimated 10k words?) right now, and i'm also trying an experimental work in which i write for every single pair in sf9 (not all relationships are romantic, but if you want to talk about it with me or give me any ideas, i'm over at @peachjuho on both twt and tumblr!
> 
> thank you so much if you bothered to read this author note (it's probably gone on for too long) leave a comment below, maybe?


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